Hmm

I was reading this today; the Yarn Harlot is a very funny Canadian woman, totally obsessed by knitting, and she writes thoughtfully and intelligently on a whole heap of things. She's, in effect, the antithesis of Jane Brocket, who I also love, although superficially they have similar interests.

Anyway. I commented on her blog, which I never do, then thought that I might as well put my comment here as well, and then maybe add to it if I'm feeling creative.

For what it's worth, I regard "babysitting" my own daughter those times when I'm in on my own in the evening, she's fast asleep upstairs and I'm watching rubbish television while eating chocolate biscuits and knitting. I regard my husband as babysitting her when he is doing the same thing. We also share the housework - he tidies and I pay the cleaner (exaggerated somewhat but basically true). My parents are occasionally horrified that he irons his own shirts, but I don't like ironing and the couple of times I've done it, I didn't do it properly, so what can we do?

I think that as more and more men live alone for a period of time before marriage/co-habitation, it will become more common for them to do "women's work". I'm in my thirties, and I wouldn't expect to run around after my husband, and I hope that my daughters will feel the same. As far as I can tell, at least here in the UK, the next generation now assume that both parents in a family will have to work and that everything needs to be shared, from childcare to emptying the dishwasher to the laundry to the DIY and basic car maintenance.

We need to keep on telling ourselves that things are not fair at the moment, and working to make them more fair and equal for both parents, so that we can change things for our children.

Rant on!

Simon is a wonderful husband and father. We are partners in every sense of the word, even though I occasionally feel guilty for earning considerably ess than him. This is somewhat balanced by the fact that I used to work much harder than him, my job traditionally pays bugger all and I get to play with Lucy during the mornings and do my job in the afternoons, which is the best/worst of both worlds. Simon is not an "alpha male"; he doesn't think about "status" at all, and I think for this reason, we are very happy together. He's also a natural carer, having looked after his parents and his brother for most of his adult life, and looks after me very well. He makes decisions about things and organises things, and while I'm often frustrated that his preferred method of relaxation is playing endless computer games, it works well with my knitting and every now and then he plays one like Zelda, which I love. Anyway, he is the best husband in the world, and I wouldn't be without him.

Soppy.

The new baby is growing very, very fast, and judging by how much I weigh, must be at least 2 stone by now. Hem hem. She looks almost ready to pop out, but we've got a long way to go before December and her grand entrance. I've more or less decided that she will be called Harriet Louise Johanna, after her great-grandmothers, although Harriet did not test positively when we were with my dad's sister in France last weekend. Silly old cowbag. I don't actually care what she thinks, and she'll be lucky to see either of her two great neices more than once a year. So there.

It feels like Autumn here, what with the almost non-stop torrential rain, so we are having lasagna and peas for supper.

New baby

My friend Agnes has had her baby. She is a girl called Flora Elizabeth Anne, which is a lovely name. I briefly wanted Flora for our new one, but I'm glad I haven't set my heart on it. I'm going to make her an Anouk tunic/dress in a six month size, which will fit her around about January, when the weather is more suitable for woolly dresses. I think I'll make our new baby one as well. Gosh, how madly interesting.

We went to visit my parents this weekend. It was my dad's birthday the week before, so we were celebrating. I find it all rather a strain, and am very, very tired today. I'm not sleeping properly either, so it's all good fun. Today, we are watching Third and Bird and then going shopping for various things, then socialising a bit. It's all go here.

It's a girl!

We had our 20 week scan today, and it's another little girl. How exciting. Haven't quite decided on a name yet, but possibly Harriet Johanna.

I'm very happy, so is Simon, Lucy is not fussed.

A Jumper

Shalom
Originally uploaded by juliaclare123
Finished the other day, it's a bit small at the moment, thanks to the rapidly growing baby, but I'm pleased with it, and I'll be able to wear it next winter, and many after that, I'm sure.

Potty training, take 2

Today her ladyship has brought the potty over twice and demanded her nappy be removed, before sitting on the potty. Nothing else happened, but it's a start.

I am so relieved. She seems to be doing this mostly for her daddy, as mummy has been in bed most of the afternoon. I am so tired, and I feel completely drained. The baby is stretching my tummy to a very painful extent at the moment, and I've gone back to feeling sick. Hurrah. Oh well, only 146 days to go.

Sad

Sad things:

My great-aunt died last Thursday. My parents were in Paris with my grandmother until this afternoon, so they only found out today, and rung me just now. She was very old, and in very poor shape. I think she was coming up for 90, and she'd had a fall which had lead to her developing pneumonia, and she just quietly slipped away. Very peaceful. She came to our wedding and insisted on being brought down to see the disco, as she'd never been to one, and wanted to see what they were like. She also met Lucy and thought she was a wonderful child, so clearly there was nothing wrong with her brain. The best thing is that Dad managed to overcome his difficulties with her, and was friends with her at the end. We'd been to visit her earlier in the year; I'm very glad we made the trip up to Cheltenham. RIP Great Aunt Heather.

My Dad also told me that my grandmother might "pop off" at any time. She's got diabetes, and doesn't look after herself properly. It's well within the bounds of probability that she will slip into a diabetic coma during her sleep and not make it through. I'm glad we're going to see her in August, even though it will be a bit stressful. She's very keen on Lucy, which is a good thing of course, but Lucy is not very keen on strangers at the moment. Oh well, I'm sure she'll behave herself, and if it gets too awful, we'll run away and hide in Paris.

Happy thing:

Our new Nursery is all signed off, and the building will go ahead, Michael Gove or no Michael Gove. Hurrah. Although, of course, my colleagues Gaby and Lisa are very negative and don't seem to feel that it is actually a good thing to get rid of an admittedly big but unpleasant, disgusting and unhygenic space. NNNNNNNNNNGGGGGHHHHH

Does pink stink?

I like pink. I used to wear it a lot (none of my pink clothes fit any more :( ), I knit with it a lot and I put Lucy in it a lot of the time. She also has green clothes, blue clothes, jeans, trousers, "boys"' teeshirts and is currently wearing a green and white teeshirt and jeans. She doesn't have many pink toys, except for her baby pushchair and some blocks that my parents got her for Christmas that we don't use as she has two big bags of blocks, and the pink ones should really stay at their house.

I can see where these people are coming from - when I go to the Early Learning Centre, it's quite sickening how much stuff is pushed at little girls that emphasises good behaviour and low expectations (especially slogan teeshirts aimed at older children - My Daddy thinks I'm a princess, Future WAG, Playboy branded things for children for God's sake) but at the same time, we don't have to buy it for them. Lucy is not an independent consumer, and she may want things, but I don't have to buy them for her. I can buy her things I like, things I think she might like later on, but they don't have to be pink cash registers and bikinis and princess dresses.

More positive role models for girls would be a good thing, I understand this; after all I do teach young girls, and it's sobering to find out how many idolise Barbies, but it's also heartening to see them playing football, watching Ben 10, loving Thomas the Tank Engine and other "boys" things. Children have limited horizons - 10 is old to a 5 year old, 15 is ancient to a 10 year old and you may as well be dead as be 25 when you're 17 - and it's our job as adults to help them learn to make good decisions. We should be teaching them to ignore marketing ploys and to see through the surface to the substance.

So, on the whole, pink doesn't stink, but the stuff that is painted bright pink to appeal to little girls does, and we should watch out for it. But overanalysing and obsessing over our culture is rapidly turning into a disease and stops us noticing the big stuff. The marketing of things at children is far, far too widespread and dangerous, and obsessing whether pink things should be for girls misses the point.

So there.

Tedious Work Induced Rant

I don't feel like a proper member of staff. My little class aren't welcome at whole school events; one of our colleagues is leaving and we are having a whole school party for everyone except Afternoon Nursery and we are specifically left out of other events such as author visits and explanatory trips to the new "outdoor classroom" (garden). Also, my colleagues have all had 3 or 4 observations this year, I have had none. I know I'm part-time, but I'm still a professional, and I need to be treated as one. I'm getting more and more keen on the idea of looking for another job while I'm on maternity leave and buggering off, instead of coming back. I'd like to do another year part-time, and I'd like to be around for the new baby as much as I've been for Lucy, but I can't spend another year standing still and getting more and more frustrated. I've even tried saying something, but what's the bloody point? It doesn't make a blind bit of difference.

In return, I am absenting myself from whole school events - I'm not at a birthday party this evening, I may not go to the colleague who is leaving's do, I am not going to be in the staff room unless specifically asked. If they aren't going to meet me half way, I'm not going to take part. I'm very, very good at absenting myself, and I have the perfect excuse in Lucy and the whole "being pregnant" thing. It's the holidays soon. I cannot wait. I will still see Dan and Anna and Gaby, but I can't be bothered with official things. Anna will be my line manager next year, I bet I can get her to come and observe me once before I go off.

In happier work related news, they seem to have taken on board my suggestion that it's stupid to fill up the Morning Nursery and then the Afternoon, and we should both have 10/11 children in our classes by half term. Good. If I have 3 again in September, I'm resigning on the spot.

Still no news on our new building.

Twit Twoo

I got my owl print for Lucy's new big girl's room. Hurrah.

We are getting our loft converted into 2 children's rooms and a little shower room. The work hasn't started yet, although we should be getting the plans back in a few weeks time, and then a start date, so it should be done by the time the new baby arrives. I don't want Lulu being moved out of her room so that we can move the new one in, I want her to have a special big girl's room before the annoying sibling arrives. Also, we'd like her go into a proper bed, and doing that while we have a new born could be very tiring.

New baby is still growing, I have a hospital appointment tomorrow morning, so today, we are living the dream by going to Sainsbury's in Chiswick.

It looks as if we aren't going to be getting our new Nursery at school. There are no words to describe my feelings about Michael Gove.

Potty training

We are attempting to potty train Lucy. She has a potty which she regards as a toy, so spends a lot of time with it on her head or using it as a megaphone. She's sat on it, but not managed to do a wee in it yet. We had a little accident the other day; Mum and I were inside and Lucy was outside in the paddling pool and freely roaming around the garden, naked. She came over to me and said "Bo", so I asked her if she needed a poo, she said "Na", and wandered off. 2 minutes later, a very embarrassed and ashamed Lucy came over. I cleaned her up and sloshed dettol over the garden and the paddling pool, and we had another go at sitting on the potty.

I think she's not ready yet; Elsie, her best friend, is ready, as she can tell me when she needs the potty, and sits on it without a fuss. Oh well, Lucy will learn that she needs two different words, one for yes and one for no, and saying the same word for both, is confusing.