What did you bring me today? Delusional mutterings with a side of crazy?

Actual footage from Sunday.

We went on a family walk on Sunday.  Only a couple of kilometres and there was only a few moans from the children.  Of course there was moaning; there is always moaning.  We don't like walking, we don't want to go near the canal, we don't want to explore the woods, we don't want to climb on a lock, we don't like these things at all, and we are not being silly, this is a real and genuine dislike, and is nothing to do with us not wanting to leave the house.

It wasn't a beautiful day, but it was cold and fairly crisp, and there were slight signs of Spring everywhere - from bulbs poking through the leaves to little buds on the otherwise bare branches. 

Distance: 2.6km
Weather: Cloudy and cold - about 6⁰C
State of Mind: reluctant at first, moving towards actually having fun

I change my locks every 16 days. That key's been useless since the 2nd Tuesday I gave it to you.

After this week, probably.  It's all a bit much really.  The children are clearly insane, and I'm catching it off them.  What fun. It was Mothering Sunday today, and we spent it in Spitalfields Market, where I failed to buy a little black dress and did buy some star print African wax cotton (5m for £12!) and some posh tea and had daytime gin (the best gin) and a chocolate brownie, and it was great until about three quarters an hour ago when we had the "I'm really tired but I'm not going to bed, I'm going to sit here and make NOISES and kick you and PUT MY COLD FEET ON YOUR TUMMY and whine" time until I gave up on supper and threw them into bed with mild threats.

They are quite cute when they want to be.

Anyway, that was today, but that's not what I wanted to talk about.  

I started a jumper a few weeks ago, part of the Mason-Dixon #bangoutasweater KAL, which was super fun and not hard at all.  A picture says 1000 words; a collage even more, and saves me boring on.

Genuinely one of the easiest and quickest knits I've ever made, and such a great, cosy jumper at the end of it.  This is not my last go at this pattern, and I'm going to use the Lett Lopi yarn to make an owlsjumper soon, as well as two Penguins jumpers for the girls.  

What else is new?  The Knit List is moving along slowly.  Most of the stuff is still in storage, but we're looking at about another fortnight of building chaos until I can put my living room stash back in its proper place.

The following things are being worked on:

Audrey in Unst: I'm at 26/36 rows of twisted ribbing.  I put it down to work on the Stopover and only picked it up today.  I can't say I love it.  I can't say I don't love it, but I don't love twisted ribbing ONE BIT.

NEW: A bright yellow Owligan: I love this.  It's bright and spring-like and will be a great cardigan to wear outside once I don't need a coat.  So, you know, May.

The Rainbow Raglan: huh.

These things are still in storage.

Hexipuff Quilt
Simon's Cobblestone jumper
Simon's massive man socks: I bought the yarn.
This One's for Parties Vintage Jumper
The Yellow Petrie
Rainbow jumper for Hattie

These are things that are waiting to be started.  I've added something.

Mini Hetty cardigan with sleeves for Lucy
A circle blanket for Robin

Cream and Beige Coco style boatneck striped top

Sun-Ray Ribbing Vintage Jumper
Ishbel scarf thing
Waterhouse Mittens

Bright Rainbow Blanket for Lucy

Burton Bear cowl for Hattie

Minion blanket for Hattie

Finished:

Stopover Sweater
Yellow Myrna cardigan
Vianne
Wisteria
Elwood Mittens for Lucy
One MASSIVE MAN SOCK
Weather Blanket
Separate but matching vests for twin boys
Urchin hat
Peacock mittens

Right, there is gin to drink and the X-files to watch.  Hurrah for Sunday nights.

Hey Nolan, I came here to watch Batman, not Kung Fu Panda.

The collect for the day.

Stir up, we beseech thee, O Lord, the wills of thy faithful people; that they, plenteously bringing forth the fruit of good works, may of thee by plenteously rewarded; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

The will was stirred up, the fruit was plenteously brought forth from Tesco, and the reward will be an inadvertently egg-free Christmas pudding on the 25th.  I do love a family tradition, and I've made this pudding by Dan Lepard for the past 3 years, and we all stir and wish and generally our wishes come at least partly true.

It doesn't look much now, but it will taste wonderful.  Even without eggs.

Anyway, enough of that.  On with the knitting.

Peacock Mittens: This is the second one, and I've done more than that since I took this photo.  I might even finish them this week.  Might.  

Hexipuff Quilt: I've made another 2 today.  When there are 8 more, I'll recount, and see where we are with the whole 500 titchy little hexagons.

Simon's massive man socks: still the same.

The Rainbow Raglan: Still waiting for sleeves.  Having just been stuck on sleeve island with the Wisteria, I'm disinclined to make another trip there.

This One's for Parties Vintage Jumper: Still not happy with it.

The Yellow Petrie: Shshshsh

These are things that are waiting to be started.  Still.

A present for Robin: I've changed my mind again.  I'm going to make him the same blanket as I made his sister, but in different colours.  And not as many circles.  And not for Christmas.  Maybe for Easter.

Reknit Simon's Cobblestone jumper - I'm getting moaning about this, so this is up next.

Miette cardigan in Lemon

Cream and Beige Coco style boatneck striped top

Sun-Ray Ribbing Vintage Jumper
Ishbel scarf thing
Waterhouse Mittens

Mini Hetty cardigan with sleeves for Lucy 

Bright Rainbow Blanket for Lucy
Burton Bear cowl for Hattie

Mini Hetty cardigan with sleeves for Hattie
Minion blanket for Hattie

Finished:

Vianne
Wisteria
Elwood Mittens for Lucy
One MASSIVE MAN SOCK
Weather Blanket
Separate but matching vests for twin boys
Urchin hat

I'm sure I've made more than that; it doesn't seem that much really.

Man, do my feet hurt in heels, and other things women talk about

Another September almost gone, another Yarndale whooshing by just like that.  We went up to Skipton on Friday, I spent a very happy day on Saturday shopping and taking photos, then we went home via Leeds on Sunday.  I can't believe it's already over.  

We loved Yorkshire so much again, we've sort of decided to back up there for a long weekend in May, around half term.  Shame I've come back with a bit of a cold.

Anyway, you don't want to listen to me sneeze, you want to see pictures from the weekend.

So many colours.  So many people.  Normally I freak out a bit in large crowds, but the feeling of height and light and space meant that I didn't feel under pressure at all.  It was absolutely lovely.

I've been to Yarndale three times now, it's a fixture on our calendar, written in pen.  It's got better and better each year, with more and more vendors, and more and more fun.  This year, I surpassed myself, and I am now no longer going to buy an overlocker, or go to Ally Pally in a few weeks.  So not sorry.   I shamelessly used my children as a way to photograph Lucy Attic 24 again; such a fan girl.  She was lovely and very patient; and must be utterly exhausted now.  I was, and all I did was shop.

The mandalas were fantastic, and it was so good to be able to get right up close and personal with them this year.  Mine never really got off the ground; maybe I'll send something in next year.  

I brought some things back with me.  Let's see if I can knit them up before next September.

Easy Knits sushi roll and sock yarn.  Last year, I bought a lot of Aran weight, but apparently it didn't sell well, so it wasn't there this year.  Shame.  

Ginger Twist Studios yarn to make a cowl.  Very difficult to choose a colourway, so I might have to buy more.  Eventually.

Triskelion Yarn and white undyed stuff from somewhere else, can't remember.  I'm going to use these two to make the Penelope jumper; the KAL starts tomorrow I think.  

These three gorgeous things are from Midwinter Yarns; the red is for a hat, the blue is just because.

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I didn't buy this book when it first came out.  I've got it now, however, and I've also got the yarn to make the Cockatoo Brae jumper on the front.  It is drop dead gorgeous, but OMG all the miles of stockinette in fine grey wool.  Mindless knitting at its finest.  I feel faint at the thought.

Well, there's knitting to do, and a glass of wine to drink, so roll on next year, can't wait. 

If this is your idea of a joke, then you belong in a Woody Allen film because I’m not laughing.

I started writing a blogpost on the blogger app, and the keyboard wasn't working, which was a massive pain in the bum and totally got in the way of the creative writing process.

Happy Easter if you celebrate it; we've had a really nice day with egg hunting around the garden; mean, no fun Mummy hid Care Bears that they already owned, instead of chocolate, but then relented and put some chocolate buttons in some plastic eggs for them to find as well.  The girls were most annoyed that I hadn't hidden the eggs "properly", but you know, if it was so easy, why did it take you 20 minutes hey kids?   I took some pictures but they're on the big camera and it's nearly Monday and my computer has no battery life left and and and.

I went for a run today, and my left foot was so painful, I'm going to have to go and see a physio, which will be expensive, but, and in sentences I never thought I'd write, I really want to do this half marathon, so I should spend the money now rather than risk a more permanent injury.  So rubbish.

Old age is creeping up on me.  Stuff about knitting tomorrow.

This online slang dictionary says it's short for "amazing." Or it's a club drug made from a tooth whitener. Either way you win.

I've been on my own all day, well ever since last night really, and I've started to go a bit feral.  I've been writing my SENCO course essay all day, and obsessively eating brie and listening to the frightfully posh Paul Temple on YouTube.  Did you know you could listen to recordings from the radio on YouTube?  Well, now you do.

Anyway, the essay is done, all 5002 words of it, not including references, and I'm very pleased with myself.  The house is an absolute state; paper everywhere, all my articles and notes and bits and bobs are strewn around the kitchen, the sewing machine is still out from yesterday and the washing up is waiting on the side for tomorrow.  I need to do a wash, and go for a run, and maybe leave the house for a while, and have a shower and all the other civilizing things that I've completely forgotten to do today.  I don't have much time to write normally, that old refrain, so I've just submerged myself totally.  And it is done.  Done. DONE.

Last night, as well as sewing up the Mortmain, I had a bash at the wraparound dress from the second Great British Sewing Bee book,  It's a bit of a wearable toile, as the jersey is  a bit flimsy, flippy floppy, and I turned over the edges instead of bias binding it.  I tried it on last night, and it fits pretty well, but I'll need a vest top underneath if I'm going to wear it to school.

I've got a much nicer stretch fabric to make a "real" one with, and I will properly bind it this time.  The pattern is a bit of a pain frankly; not terribly well written, keeps on referring me to pages further back in the book, not very well drafted - the sleeves don't fit in properly, and so on.  User error means that I cut the front skirt on the wrong way so it stretches wrong, and then I sewed the right front to the left back, and the left front to the right back; neither of these things were the fault of the pattern, but have irritated me and left me much less keen on the whole thing.  Plus I had to trace the pattern from the book, which was  a massive pain in the bum.  Ah well.

The family are due back tomorrow; I will try to post some modelled photos of all the dresses in the next couple of days, and I might even have made another one by Sunday.  I might make another Coco, it's been a while since I did that, and I've got some spotty fabric for a Francoise burning a hole in my stash.  I'd really like to make another Cambie dress, but that requires a lot of thought, as the bodice is not made for my shape, and I need to do some faffing about with it.  

But first, first I need to either tidy up or set fire to the downstairs.

It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said, “‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.”

Things are more normal here, thanks to a bit of firmness on our part with Hattie, a quick Google of "hamster limping" and lots of reassuring cuddles with Lucy.  The hamster has probably sprained his leg; he isn't putting any weight on it, but he's eating a lot, seems quite normal, so I'm trying not to stress about it too much.  Poor little mite spends most of the time in his nest sleeping, so I think he will be OK.  He wolfed down a small square of bread and milk, which is apparently the thing to give them for sprains, so I'm happier now.  Simon thinks I'm being overly sensitive about him, but I don't care.  He's my lovely little pet.

We went up to Whipsnade today to see a baby pygmy hippo, which is the size of a cat.  He spent most of his time submerged, but I did take a couple of pictures.  This is the best one, I've cropped it a bit, and shouted ENHANCE at the screen, but it didn't magically look like a real hippo.  Hopefully he'll be confident enough to come out of the water soon, as he is terribly cute.  At one point in our visit his mum started snorting about something, prompting a massive, angry snort from the hippo in the pool next door.  She was normal hippo size - terrifyingly enormous.

Sweet little thing.  He looks a bit, well, simple in this picture, but I'm sure he doesn't have Special Hippo Needs.

The elephants at Whipsnade go for a walk around the park once a day; we saw them set off when we were in the inevitable soft play area, and we thought we'd see them back in their paddock later.  Not a bit of it; on our way around to see the hippo, we drove past the little wood on the ridge, and there they all were, including and especially a six month old baby.  

Look! 

He's balancing on a log with his mum in the background!  We stood there for ages watching the elephants and chatting with the keepers.  Sam Elephant weighed 140 kg at birth and now weighs 400.  He's grown really well, which is wonderful.  Apparently, boy elephants are a bit unpredictable, and so when he grows up, he'll have to go and live somewhere else; which is not a euphemism, I checked. 

Such a great day out.  We worked out that to take two adults, two children and a car to Whipsnade would cost £90; far too much.  You can get it a bit cheaper by using Tesco vouchers, but the best thing to do is to be a member.  Then you get London Zoo as well; we go there at least four times a year.  I'm not a massive fan of zoos; but then I see baby Indian elephants choosing to balance on logs, and they seem less bad.  The children absolutely love going too, which makes it feel far more worthwhile.  Plus it does fund conservation work around the world - the tiger project in Amur has found that two presumed extinct species of deer are not actually extinct after all, which is good news all round.

Plus it gives me a chance to have a good old play with the new camera.  I need a tripod and a remote now.  And some better lighting in the kitchen.  And a new hairdo.  

Two Dresses

The trouble with children is that they always want you to be doing something with them.  Mine are pretty independent most of time; Hattie likes small world stuff, Lucy likes drawing, but the minute I try to do anything like iron some fabric prior to cutting it out, it's all "Muuuuuuuuummmmmm, I'm boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreed".  Even if they are watching TV, the minute they hear the sewing machine touch the table, the TV turned off and the pestering starts.  So it takes me a very long time to sew anything.

This dress started off as a dream, weirdly enough.  I was drinking gin in a bar with this generation's Orwell, Owen Jones, off of the Grauniad, wearing a dress made out of clouds.  That's what happens when you read Private Eye in the bath, you have weird dreams about class warriors.  Anyway, I kept on thinking about it, and couldn't find any fabric that was suitable, until I went to Hobbycraft, and spotted this.

I think that was just after Easter, and it sat in my stash for a few months.  Then I made it into a Cambie dress, with the most perfect topstitching around the neckline.  It didn't fit.  Not even in a oooh a bit tight, lose 5 pounds way.  It didn't fit one bit.  I think the Cambie dress and I have a love hate relationship; something to do with me having an hourglass figure (it's TRUE.  My bust and my hips are EXACTLY the same measurement) and the Cambie dress being one that flatters a pear shape.  The bodice is either too big or titchy, and the rest just looks odd.  

Anyway, I couldn't face starting again, so I ripped its seams open and added panels of fabric to the zip and to the side seams.  It is now a patchwork cloud.

Take a picture where I don't look like a moron, I said.  Try to make me look normal, I said.  It's a bit cold for sleeveless at the moment, hence the Myra cardigan.  I might make one in bright yellow - a sunshine to go with the clouds.

I am nearly 37.  There is nothing wrong with wearing a dress that is made out of clouds.

The other dress is the grey Coco that I started a while back.  It needed pockets, cuffs and a hem.  It now has all of these. I am going to wear it tomorrow to be a Junior Church teacher.  It has a sort of ecclesiastical vibe to it.

Seriously, I'm going to have to change my photographer.

The optician has told me that I need to wear my glasses more often rather than just my contacts, so the search is on for some I like that aren't too expensive.  It's all so difficult and terribly, terribly dull.  In other news, one of the little girls in my class thinks that I am my Nursery Nurse's mum.  So I'm going up for an early night, then tomorrow I'm either getting Botox or buying up all the make up that Mac can make.

Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the name of rappers.

Moan, moan, moan, but I am sodding tired tonight.  I've been working VERY VERY hard doing FULL DAYS at school, which may not sound like a big deal to you workers of the world, but I am part-time, so any time outside of 12:30 to 3:30 is voluntary work, although I prefer to consider it to be an investment in my future. I had my first experience of taking a meeting as a SENCO today, although with my natural diffidence, I let the two ladies from Brent Autism Outreach do most of the talking.  I can't believe how worried I was by this - I had a sleepless night last night!  How silly.

Anyway, it is done, and I have to brief everyone tomorrow, and make picture cue cards, and print out a bunch of stuff.  It is all go, teaching, I can tell you.

A bit more about the weekend.  My photo diary of Yarndale has not proved to be terribly popular, although I think they are pretty good photos for a change, so here are some words about Yarndale, to go with the pictures from yesterday.

Crocheted Mandalas.  People from all over the world made these, and sent them to lovely, lovely Lucy.  I tried.  It wasn't a success.  Let us pass over that.

Two lovely Lucys.  This photo was cut from the official Charlie Bear's travel journal, despite Lucy Attic24 being known to  thousands of people, all over the world.  She was good enough to remember us too, which was sweet.

Crocheted bunting.  Most are granny squares (triangles) and are very, very pretty.  Lots of people went to a lot of trouble last year, and the bunting must have been a real pain to put together, but it looks spectacular.

Hattie and Lucy by the Skipton canal.  It was another super day, weather wise, so they spent a lot of time running around in the park, letting me spend all my cash in peace and quiet.  Please note Hattie's completed cardigan.  She consented to wear it.  

Lucy at the Easy Knits stand, modelling her rainbow jumper from about two years ago.  Everything I knit the children is ENORMOUS, allowing for lots of wear.  I bought a lot of bright, bright blue, the shade that's just above Lucy's head, in an aran weight.  Watch this space.

October Unprocessed starts tomorrow.