I once threw beer at a swan, and then it attacked my niece Rebecca

Two posts in two days? Inconceivable.

Anyway, we went to Kew yesterday, and I took the amazing DSLR and had a go at taking some photos without anyone holding my hand and reminding me that I can do this.

MORE COLLAGES.  I've made a page on the blog - it's over there on the side now, not on the top, after the radical redesign.

I will try not to be so self-indulgent in future.  The operative word here is "try". 

Leslie, I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything

Wait, what? 

I went on a photography workshop at the weekend, on gorgeous, gorgeous Hampstead Heath, a place I haven't been to since I was a child.  It was my Christmas present from Simon, and jolly good fun it was too.  The workshop was led by Matthew Maran, who is utterly amazing and delightful, and made the whole "learning to be the boss of the camera" process painless and enjoyable, and now I've got a much better idea how to take a really nice photograph.  I also know what an F-stop is, and I've worked out how to over and under-expose photos DELIBERATELY.

I've made three collages of my favourite photographs; I took 322, so consider yourself spared.  

I'm really pleased with all of the pictures, but these are special.  I'm going to make prints of two or three of them; I already have a print of one picture, and I'll share that another time.  It was a really great day, and I learned a huge amount.

I'm going to make a new page on the blog for some of my pictures.  Let's see if that works.

I have either two or four words for you: Drag queen dim sum.

I meant to post more photos from #sewphotohop earlier than this.  Still better late than never.

Day 11 - Bucket List

Turning my husband's office into a sewing room....

Day 12 - Motivation

Have nothing in your life that is not useful or you believe to be useful.

Day 13 - Sewing Space

Tidy, for a change.

Day 14 - Style

Knitted tops, mad prints, spots, stripes and pants with birds on.

Day 15 - Secret Corner of Shame

Nuff said.

Day 16 - Tiny vs Big

Lucy's socks vs Simon's.  

Day 17 - Proudest Achievement

Children, ballet hair, two Elsa dresses, 1 10k, a The Killing jumper, self drafted.

Day 18 - Sewing Resolution

Reduce the stash!

Day 19 - Boldest Fabric

Nuff said.  Again.

Day 20 - Learning and Practising

Invisible zips are my nemesis.

More soon.  Before Christmas anyway.

Jake, he is a sea witch in disguise, do not sing into his shell.

You know and I know how much I love any opportunity to take really poor quality photos, so this Instagram photo game set up by the impossibly glamorous Rachel from House of Pinheiro was too good to pass by.

Here's a round up of the ten days.  Can you tell I've recently discovered the layout app and am having all sorts of fun with it?

Day 1 - Hello

Day 2 - Can't (Won't) Live Without

Day 3 - Colourful

Day 4 - Work/Play

Day 5 - Silhouette

Day 6 - Pattern that Changed My Life

Day 7 - Sew Up Close

Day 8 - Sewing Playlist

Day 9 - Stash

Day 10 - Would Swap Closets With

I've fallen a bit behind since we came back from holiday, but I'm catching up, and who doesn't want to see 21 more pictures of my stuff?

Two Dresses

The trouble with children is that they always want you to be doing something with them.  Mine are pretty independent most of time; Hattie likes small world stuff, Lucy likes drawing, but the minute I try to do anything like iron some fabric prior to cutting it out, it's all "Muuuuuuuuummmmmm, I'm boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreed".  Even if they are watching TV, the minute they hear the sewing machine touch the table, the TV turned off and the pestering starts.  So it takes me a very long time to sew anything.

This dress started off as a dream, weirdly enough.  I was drinking gin in a bar with this generation's Orwell, Owen Jones, off of the Grauniad, wearing a dress made out of clouds.  That's what happens when you read Private Eye in the bath, you have weird dreams about class warriors.  Anyway, I kept on thinking about it, and couldn't find any fabric that was suitable, until I went to Hobbycraft, and spotted this.

I think that was just after Easter, and it sat in my stash for a few months.  Then I made it into a Cambie dress, with the most perfect topstitching around the neckline.  It didn't fit.  Not even in a oooh a bit tight, lose 5 pounds way.  It didn't fit one bit.  I think the Cambie dress and I have a love hate relationship; something to do with me having an hourglass figure (it's TRUE.  My bust and my hips are EXACTLY the same measurement) and the Cambie dress being one that flatters a pear shape.  The bodice is either too big or titchy, and the rest just looks odd.  

Anyway, I couldn't face starting again, so I ripped its seams open and added panels of fabric to the zip and to the side seams.  It is now a patchwork cloud.

Take a picture where I don't look like a moron, I said.  Try to make me look normal, I said.  It's a bit cold for sleeveless at the moment, hence the Myra cardigan.  I might make one in bright yellow - a sunshine to go with the clouds.

I am nearly 37.  There is nothing wrong with wearing a dress that is made out of clouds.

The other dress is the grey Coco that I started a while back.  It needed pockets, cuffs and a hem.  It now has all of these. I am going to wear it tomorrow to be a Junior Church teacher.  It has a sort of ecclesiastical vibe to it.

Seriously, I'm going to have to change my photographer.

The optician has told me that I need to wear my glasses more often rather than just my contacts, so the search is on for some I like that aren't too expensive.  It's all so difficult and terribly, terribly dull.  In other news, one of the little girls in my class thinks that I am my Nursery Nurse's mum.  So I'm going up for an early night, then tomorrow I'm either getting Botox or buying up all the make up that Mac can make.

Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the name of rappers.

Moan, moan, moan, but I am sodding tired tonight.  I've been working VERY VERY hard doing FULL DAYS at school, which may not sound like a big deal to you workers of the world, but I am part-time, so any time outside of 12:30 to 3:30 is voluntary work, although I prefer to consider it to be an investment in my future. I had my first experience of taking a meeting as a SENCO today, although with my natural diffidence, I let the two ladies from Brent Autism Outreach do most of the talking.  I can't believe how worried I was by this - I had a sleepless night last night!  How silly.

Anyway, it is done, and I have to brief everyone tomorrow, and make picture cue cards, and print out a bunch of stuff.  It is all go, teaching, I can tell you.

A bit more about the weekend.  My photo diary of Yarndale has not proved to be terribly popular, although I think they are pretty good photos for a change, so here are some words about Yarndale, to go with the pictures from yesterday.

Crocheted Mandalas.  People from all over the world made these, and sent them to lovely, lovely Lucy.  I tried.  It wasn't a success.  Let us pass over that.

Two lovely Lucys.  This photo was cut from the official Charlie Bear's travel journal, despite Lucy Attic24 being known to  thousands of people, all over the world.  She was good enough to remember us too, which was sweet.

Crocheted bunting.  Most are granny squares (triangles) and are very, very pretty.  Lots of people went to a lot of trouble last year, and the bunting must have been a real pain to put together, but it looks spectacular.

Hattie and Lucy by the Skipton canal.  It was another super day, weather wise, so they spent a lot of time running around in the park, letting me spend all my cash in peace and quiet.  Please note Hattie's completed cardigan.  She consented to wear it.  

Lucy at the Easy Knits stand, modelling her rainbow jumper from about two years ago.  Everything I knit the children is ENORMOUS, allowing for lots of wear.  I bought a lot of bright, bright blue, the shade that's just above Lucy's head, in an aran weight.  Watch this space.

October Unprocessed starts tomorrow.

Tha's nowt wrong wi that

This weekend, we went back to Yorkshire, to Yarndale.  It's still a jolly long way away, but we went up on the Friday night, and stayed in a really lovely B&B for two nights, so it felt like a real holiday.  Such a gorgeous place.  Each year, we discover something new.  We went on a dale this time, and around Skipton, which is just so lovely.  Proper house prices envy too, as we realised what our perfectly ordinary London house would buy in Skipton.

Some photos.  Some pictures have Lucy's class bear, Charlie, in.  He came with us, as an extra piece of homework - it's meant to promote talk and writing, and exciting things like that, which it did.  He had a great time.

I bought some yarn.  Not lots, but enough to make a Christmas jumper with an Elsa vibe.  Better get knitting.

We're the heroes of this story, we don't need to be saved

Weeks 31, 32 and 33.  It's all gone by in a bit of a blur, so the pictures are from random points in the last three weeks.

Biarritz, Biscarrosse, Disneyland, the Natural History Museum.  The fun never stops at our house.

Portraits of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014.